Claim to FAME

I am going to be a movie star.  I'm serious.

Okay, I'll give you the details so you can decide exactly how seriously to take me and how excited to be (as in, should you start planning when you'll get my autograph, or should you just stop reading now?). Last Thursday, a human resources woman at work asked me if I'd be interested in being in a marketing film for our company about inclusiveness and diversity. Umm HELLO! Doesn't she know me?! Of course I would! HR Lady told me that she wasn't 100% certain they would need me for the film, but she'd submit my name and would let me know.  I spent the rest of the day in suspense, not getting any work done as I envisioned my BIG BREAK and how I would be discovered and where I would display my Oscars. So what that this was only a corporate marketing video to eventually be viewed by my own colleagues and potentially some college recruits.  This thing still had fame-potential all over it. I was all in.

As of the end of Thursday I hadn't heard back from HR Lady, so my enthusiasm lost a little steam.  Now don't be mis-led. I still made sure I looked super cute (by my standards) Friday morning so I could be ready for my close-up (see self pic below).  As soon I got to the office Friday morning I saw an email in my inbox with the subject line: "Film shoot" Alas! My new life in the spotlight was beginning!  So long to boring emails containing subject lines like "New York state tax return for review" and HELLO to glamazon correspondence! Surely this was the first of many such an email.  In my mind's eye I began seeing emails flooding my inbox with subjects of "Film rehearsal 5PM tonight - location change" and "Wardrobe meeting/script read-through schedules announced."  I digress.

The email contained the logistics of the filming, and the questions I would have to answer on camera:

1) How are you diverse and how does this help you bring a unique perspective to the table?

2) How do you feel included at work?

3) How do you make others feel included?

Basic enough. I got some input from my parents and a coworker on question #1 but the second two were pretty straightforward. Easy cheesy. Nonethleless I spent most of the day preparing for my scene...umm.. I mean interview (did I say that out loud?).  I typed up my scripted, paragraph-long responses and rehearsed them at my desk for much of the day, creepily murmuring my lines to myself.  Luckily most people were out of the office celebrating post April 15th glory (whoop! no more busy season, birtches!), so they were not subjected to my monologues.  But even if they had been there, I would not have been ashamed.  I had to be perfect.  Flawless.

Finally, 4:15PM, the designated filming time, arrived.  I went with a few other girls up to the set (a.k.a. our corporate cafeteria).  The crew was still setting up, so we were sent back to our cubicles to wait in apprehension for another 20 minutes.  I tried to distract myself by doing menial administrative tasks, but I couldn't get my mind off of my impending BIG BREAK.  20 minutes passed and the posse of future actress/accountants headed back up to the cafeteria.

The woman spearheading the operation, Shannon, told us that she just wanted one-sentence answers to each of the questions.  What?! I had prepared at least a paragraph for each, and my thoughtful answers could not be condensed to a mere few words at this last minute.  I started scrambling in my brain. A real actress could improvise and think on her feet.  But I couldn't do it. None of my answers seemed to make sense when just blurted out in one short sentence.  Maybe I wasn't cut out for this acting thing after all.

As luck would have it, some relief came.  Shannon let us know that the moderator would actually only be asking us each one question, not all three. Pheww! And she told us we could pick which question we wanted to answer.  Even better!  Now all I had to do was condense one of my paragraph-long answers down to a sentence.  I opted for the 2nd question: "How do you feel included at work?" since it seemed to be the most straight forward and easily answered in a few words.  My answer would be simple: I feel included when I am invited to events, whether it's a happy hour, a client call or an account planning meeting.  No sweat!

When my film time came, Shannon sent me and two other interviewees to the man who would be asking us the questions, and the film crew.  They set us up at a cafe table, facing each other so it looked like we were 'naturally having a conversation.'  The interviewer asked us to each introduce ourselves by stating our name and role at the Company. Then came question time.

Interviewer Man: "Jenny, if you were sitting across from your boss right now, what would you tell him he could do to help you feel more included at work?"

My brain: "No No No... That was NOT the question! The question was "how do I feel included?" not "how can I feel more included?"  Ok, think quick, Stein! .............Got it! Just flip the first few words around but use the same basic answer!"

My mouth: "I would definitely feel more included at work if I were invited to more events like happy hours, client calls and account planning meetings."

My brain: "CRAPPPPPP! I sound like a friendless alcoholic!!!!"

That definitely did not go how I planned. So, I tried to reason with the Interviewer Man: "I didn't really like my answer. Can I do it again?"  Interviewer Man: "No no, it was perfect. It was great!"  Blast!

So now, my dear readers and friends (but mostly family members who I beg to read my blog), my big break will be me, on a corporate marketing video to be to potentially be displayed in front of 152,000 employees at various events and I sound like a recluse outcast with a drinking problem.

Awesome.

The Bean Gets a "B"

*Update: 5/31/12. The Bean has earned it's "A" in Sanitation!  I walked by today, and saw the upgrade.  Congrats, Coffee Bean!

Don't worry, Coffee Bean,  New York still loves you, too.

This afternoon I went for my standard daily coffee break to the Coffee Bean on Broadway and 41st Street.  As I approached the shop, much to my dismay I saw its sanitation grade posted: a big fat "B"!  I've never paid much attention to these sanitation grades which are posted on almost (if not all) restaurants in New York, probably because most places I frequent are rated an "A".  But you can bet you're bottom dollar that from now on I will. 

Since the Coffee Bean looks relatively sanitary to the naked eye, I did some quick research to see why exactly it earned the sub-par rating.  Here is what I found on the New York City Dept. of Health and Mental Hygiene* website:

Violations recorded in the following area (s) and a Notice of Violation issued at the reinspection conducted on 12/05/2011.

"Critical" violations are displayed in red.

Violation points: 16 Sanitary Violations 1) Filth flies or food/refuse/sewage-associated (FRSA) flies present in facility’s food and/or non-food areas. Filth flies include house flies, little house flies, blow flies, bottle flies and flesh flies. Food/refuse/sewage-associated flies include fruit flies, drain flies and Phorid flies. 2) Food not protected from potential source of contamination during storage, preparation, transportation, display or service. 3) Facility not vermin proof. Harborage or conditions conducive to attracting vermin to the premises and/or allowing vermin to exist.

The funny thing is, roommate-Matt and I comment every time we go into the Bean that the baked items sitting out on the counter do not look very enticing. I guess we were right in thinking so.  Filth flies?!  Bleghhh! Flesh flies??  Ewwww.  Phorid flies?  Vom! (for those of you who don't know what a phorid fly is, below is a picture for your viewing pleasure -- sorry so narsty)

Interestingly enough, another location of the Coffee Bean (on Columbus Ave) is rated an A.  I took a look to see if an A rating indicated a squeaky clean record.  No such luck.  Apparently you can have an A rating, and still have a "Critical" violation.  In the case of the better performing Coffee Bean:  Wiping cloths soiled or not stored in sanitizing solution.  Mmmm yummers.  Curious to see how the competition was doing, I strolled on over to the Starbucks just a few blocks away from the Coffee Bean.  It's grade? A shiny A. But guess what. They still have flesh flies and vermin. Womp.

Anyway, you are probably thinking I will probably never go back to this Coffee Bean again.  Sadly, I probably will continue to patron the Bean since I love their iced no-sugar-add vanilla latte a little too much.  Mmmmm. I'll take a latte with a side of phorid flies, thanks! 

*Is anyone else wondering what 'mental hygiene' is any how can NYC have a department for it?

Fashion Forward: Oooo FREAK-OUT!

Last week I had a fashion mishap. See below.

After a long day of work... and of enduring this concoction of an outfit.

I was trying to be crafty in putting this little number together. I thought I could do a nautical look with this relaxed navy striped shirt and navy skirt.  I'd pull together the casual look of the shirt with a gold belt tied nicely around my waist.  To complement the cool beachy-yet-professional look, I decided to do a "wavy" hair look too. 

MISTAKE all the way around. Every time I went to the bathroom that day, I thought, "What was I thinking?!" I mean, what was I doing with my LIFE with this wardrobe decision gone wrong?  I felt like such a sloppy frumper :( Whomp. And as for the hair, have you ever fallen into the same trap? You think, "Ooo you know what... I'll do the 'wavy' look today" when really you just don't feel like putting much effort into straightening or for-real-curling your hair.  Every single time without fail: I end up hating my hair that day... so why do I do make the same mistake time and time again? One will never know.

Well, I tried to be creative and this is what happened. I guess you can't look fantastic everyday (ok, well maybe some people can but that's just what the jelly-beans say).  

Have you ever had a fashion freak-out? Please share... I would love to know I'm not the only one! :)

Memories in Music (PART 1)

Songs, like smells, are powerful emotion and memory triggers for me. Allow me to illustrate:  It's a beautiful Sunday morning.  All is well in Jenny-land as I bop around my room rocking out to jams a-la-Itunes-shuffle, cleaning up and taking care of biz-nass.  Then BAM! Out of nowhere Eric Clapton's "Tears in Heaven" begins to play, and I'm an insta-mess.  I'm talking curled into fetal position on my bed, pondering all of the sufferings of humanity and the sadnesses of life.  With any luck, Sinead O'connor's "Nothing Compares to You" will not be next on the random shuffle to throw me further into my music-induced sulk mode.

Fortunately, most songs have the opposite effect and remind me of happy moments during my past 4 years in New York.  The songs below are essentially a timeline of my memories in music.  This post will be in 2 parts (maybe 3) so that this doesn't become the LONGEST POST OF YOUR LIFE (as was this one)! And now, for the main event.... (drum roll).... my MEMORIES IN MUSIC (please, for the love of God and for me, say in your best announcer's voice:).......

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Mary J. Blige "Just Fine"  - I listened to this first song EVERY morning while getting ready for work when I first moved to NYC.  I'm not even sure where I first heard this tune since I've never been much of a MJB fan, but I definitely got addicted to the clappy beats and inspiring lyrics (i.e., "I like what I see when I'm looking at me and I'm walking past the mirror.").  This jam gave me the boost I needed to conquer Manhattan during my first few months here.

The scene of many a Just Fine rock-outs (i.e., making coffee in the mini kitchen in the morns).

Pussycat Dolls "Jai Ho" - This song will forever remind me of my two fab work girlfriends, Erica and Lucyanna.  The first time I heard "Jai Ho" was during my second busy season.  I was sitting in my cubicle (most likely at some ungodly hour of the night) when I heard this song across the hall, with a couple of girly voices singing along with it while cracking up. Could it be? People being joyous during tax season?! Yes! Yes, it could! I found Erica and Lucyanna rocking out heartily at their desks while working on tax returns.  From that moment on, these two ladies kept me chipper through the tough hours of busy season and at many other times during the years since. Thanks to them, I will always think of listening to this song on repeat while dancing around the office late at night (yes, I may have even done a cartwheel once).  Ahh the mems.  :)

The Jai Ho crew. Posing with a plant at work. Corporate America at its finest. 

Akon "Beautiful"-  This next jam also brings me back to my young staff days.  Every time I hear "Beautiful" I think of my former coworker (and dear friend) who was a bit enamored by me. He sent me this song with the intention of hinting at his affections for me (I swear I'm not making this up -- he later confessed it).  It now remains not only a memory of that gesture, but also has stayed in tact as a staple on my workout play list (how could hearing "you're beautiful" on repeat not inspire you to burn more calories on the elipto?!).  Also, every time I listen to the lyrics, I chuckle, wondering how the lyrics could have possibly made this fellow think of me: "I see you in the club, you showin' thugs love, I wanna get with you."  Alright, alright you got me. I'm a sucker for showin' the thugs love. 

Britney Spears "Mmm Papi" This is a song that I don't think ever made it to the radio but it should have (listen and you'll understand). Anyway, I was so obsessed with it at one point a couple years ago that I thought of a partial music video concept for it. Here it is, as documented in my journal on February 28, 2009, 11:22PM: "I thought of a video concept. Britney and other look-alikes dressed as dolls with pink circles of blush on cheeks with blonde pigtails (low) and bangs swooped across.  A green and red/orange dress that's a-line up to the mid thigh. Fishnets and Jessica Rabit heels. They have colorful lollipops and there's an overall candy-shop theme. Very colorful. A few buff male dancers with no shirts, plaid pants, suspenders and hats. Maybe canes. Maybe handle-bar mustaches.  Awesome dance routine."  Hmmm, okay looking back this sounds more like a raunchy Vegas cabaret show, but still I was being crafty! Now listen to the song and see if you can visualize my theme :) 

My would-be music video props.

Kings of Leon "Use Somebody" - Now let's take it down a notch. This next song touched me so much that I even wrote about in this journal entry on July 28, 2009: "I'm laying in bed listening to "Use Somebody" by kings of leon. I'm not sure where I first heard this song but I love it. Very powerful. Reminds me of freedom, growing up, making decisions, finding love, things falling into place, things changing."  It's kind of cool that exactly one month later I did find love and things did fall into place. <3

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What songs trigger memories for you? 

Alright, that's enough nostalgia for one post.  It's a beautiful rainy Sunday evening, so lets get to livin'! I for one have grocery shopping to do!  Enjoy the last few hours of your weekend :)

We EAT (revisited)

[Note: This post is in no way intended to be a  serious claim/attack against the author of the article I mention. It is a light-hearted comparison, for fun and laughs; an outlet for me to toot my own horn about choosing a topic that was also chosen by one of my favorite mags.]


Last night as I scoured the pages of the April 2nd issue of New York magazine for some delicious juiciness, I was shocked when I came across an article by Michael Idov entitled "When Did Young People Start Spending 25% of Their Paychecks on Picked Lamb's Toungues: Foodie-ism, as Youth Culture."  Excited to dig into this read since its title echoed the theme of my January 23rd post, "We EAT", I began my perusal.  However, a few paragraphs into the article, I noticed that the article didn't merely echo the observations of my "We Eat" post, but nearly mirrored it!  To illustrate, here are a few excerpts which bear a striking resemblance to my post (great minds think alike if I do say so myself) :) :

#1) NY magazine: "Knowing the newest and finest restaurants to frequent and where to find the very best things to eat have long been essential New York status markers,"  &  "Above all they are avowed culinary agnostics whose central motivation is simply to hunt down and enjoy the next most delicious meal, all the better if no one else has yet heard of it.  Dish snapshots and social-network check-ins are a given."

 Sh*t New Yorkers Do ("SNYD"): ""New Yorkers like to eat.  We take pride in it; not just in the act of eating itself, but in the feat of finding a restaurant that our friends haven't heard of or been to before.  A place we can write about on Facebook or take pictures of and post to our blogs (ummm what? who, me? nooo) or tell our non-New York family members/friends about."

#2)  NY magazine: "Lately, however, food has become a defining obsession among a wide swath of the young and urbane. It's not like golf or opera. It's more like Indie Rock...'It's a badge of honor...bragging rights."          

SNYD:  "Ok, maybe I'm just speaking for myself, but I really do think this desire to discover something cool/novel/exclusive is something most New Yorkers have in common (from my statistical studies, of course).  Like a bragging right of sorts."

#3)  NY magazine: "They abhor restaurant cliches...and studiously avoid chains (Olive Garden, McDonalds), but are not above the occasional trip to either."  

SNYD: "This city isn't filled with the chain restaurants that plague the 'burbs (with the exception of Ruby Tuesdays, Applebees, and Hardrock in Times Square)."

#4)  NY Magazine:  "They consume food media - blogs, books, Top Chef, and other "Quality TV"..." 

SNYD:  "Let me just try to describe this feeling to you: a few weeks ago when I purchased the Jan. 2-9th edition of New York magazine, I got a slight high when I saw it contained a list of the top 101 restaurants (according to Adam Platt). I literally took out my highlighter and permanent marker and began circling places I wanted to eat and jotting down the dates or occasions next to restaurants I had visited. It was like I was literally devouring the list."

Am I the only one who thinks this resemblance is uncanny and absolutely cray-cray?!  I think the similarities between my post and the New York article can only mean 1 of the following things (or 4, if you select the last option below):

1) Michael Idov at New York magazine read my blog and thought it was such an amazing notion (why hadn't he thought of it months ago?!*) that he had to take it and make it his own (not nearly as fabulous as the SNYD original, though, I'm sure he admitted to himself). 

2)  I am unbelievably observant.

3)  I should write for New York magazine because I got to this topic before Michael, due to #2 above.

4) All of the above.

What say you, loyal readers? 

*Michael's story was actually filed November 2011, so he in fact had the idea first. Blast!

We HIDE.

This weekend I was in a glass cage of emotions. My emotional roller coaster came on completely unexpectedly, since the weekend started out beautifully.  Friday night boyfriend-Matt and I went to Lani Kai for a romantic dinner, followed by a meet-up with friends at the bar for tropical drinks. Though I got a little slap-happy and ultra-tired by 11PM, I was in asleep by midnight, a conservative bedtime for a young adult on a Friday night in Manhattan.  

Enjoying a delicious coconut drink at Lani Kai -- who knew things would go downhill after this??

Friday night - while I was still in my happy place.

I was happy as could be when I awoke Saturday morning to coffee and cozy snuggles. But suddenly, around 1PM, the grumps hit me. I was half-heartedly researching a summer vacation spot when my brat-mode switched into high-gear. I got snippy with boyfriend-Matt for not helping with research (even though we hadn't agreed to do any research this weekend and I was selfishly projecting my self-imposed obligations onto him).  "We're never going to book this! This isn't going to work," were among my many grumblings. For no good reason, I simply became angry with everyone and everything within a 1-foot distance from me. 

Thinking a nap would help, I tried putting myself to sleep, but to no avail.  I ended up feeling even more upset as I over-analyzed my emotions in the lair of blankets in my dark bedroom.  All the while, Matt  sweetly tried to comfort me by laying beside me, stroking my head lovingly, and assuring me it was okay to have a grumpy day once in a while.  Still, I was determined to overcome these icky-ugly emotions, so I had the brilliant idea to venture outside and "play tennis" (a.k.a. uncontrollably hit tennis balls on the basketball court of a creepy playground down the block).  Surely endorphins would do the trick!  After all, endorphins make people happy, and happy people don't just kill their husbands (think "Legally Blonde")!!  Even though it was spitting rain, cold and windy outside, Matt graciously agreed to play with me (I'm sure my Angel was willing to do anything at that point to help me out of my slump which I was surely taking out on him).  We donned our workout wear and trekked outside of the apartment for the first time all day at about 4PM.  The murky weather almost deterred us, but since we had come so far (a whopping half of a block) we decided to press on.  All started out well, until Matt's playful swinging of the tennis racket met my swatting hand and I burst into tears. The crying lasted for about 2 minutes and I got over it. After playing, I actually did feel a little better. But not for long. 

We headed home and watched a few episodes of "Underover Boss" while cooking dinner. Harmless, emotionally neutral circumstances, right? Wrong! I cried during several parts of "Undercover Boss" and I had a mishap with dinner.  After dropping a tomato in a sink full of dirty dishwater, I cried again, yelled "Damn it!" (I rarely curse) and pounded the counter with my fist several times.  I whined a few minutes more, and then re-collected myself.  To top off my range of emotions for the evening, I was a super birtch for no apparent reason to roommate-Matt when he came home later that night (sorry Matty-pie!).  

Today I decided the best way to recover from my emotional hangover was to hide inside and watch Bravo on demand all day. However, avoiding the world watching interior design shows backfired on me,  and ended up making me feel guilty and unproductive. To eliminate all such feelings, I attempted to cross off something that's been on my domestic to-do list for many months: hang shelves in my bedroom.   Bad idea. One of the screws broke, the shelves fell on my head, and I crumbled to the floor crying at the sight of my failure which glared back at me in the form of 12 gaping holes in the now scratched-up wall.  Thankfully roommate-Matt whipped me into shape: "Stop crying! Get up!" and he too laughed at me.  Finally, a few hours later I came to my senses: I cleaned my room, lit some candles and started to blog :)  Now I feel much better.

Remnants of my shelf-hanging attempts -- post-breakdown.

Moral of the story: Sometimes you're allowed to be grumpy for a day or two. But on those days, don't try to cook fancy meals, play sports in miserable weather, or do handiwork around the home. Just be cozy and hide for a while.