Fire Escapes & Stoops: a New Yorker's Paradise

My favorite picture of me on the 'scape. Summer 2009.

As our second heat wave of the summer rolls in, so do warm memories of evenings on my fire escape and stoop of my former Upper East Side abode.  When I moved to the 81st Street apartment, I was still relatively new to the City (just 5 months into Manhattan life), so my social events calendar was not yet fully booked.   As a result, I spent many a summer night after work sipping coffee or tea at one of these prime locations.  I was not yet an avid wine-lover at that point. If I had been, rest-assured those mugs would have been filled with the juice of the vine, not coffee.  Regardless of the beverage of choice, I loved these moments because I knew they were uniquely New York, and could only be experienced as a city-dweller.  

As for the the fire escape, I had only ever seen them in action in movies (think cheesy ending scene in "Pretty Woman" or musical numbers in "West Side Story"). Yet here I was, with my very own private terrace (rusty thought it may have been) where I could people-watch with the best of 'em.  Sometimes these solitary moments would make me a bit sad, though, because I would see so many couples and groups of friends walk by, chatting and laughing happily, making me keenly aware that I did not yet have either a circle of close friends or a boyfriend.  But despite this sometimes-sadness, I still savored having this special bird's eye view from my own private nest. It enabled me to be a part of the City without being fully immersed in it until I was ready.

On occasions when I was feeling a bit more social, I would sit on the stoop rather than my fire escape.  Sometimes crazies would walk by and yell at me or talk to themselves in their seeming paranoia, but mostly normal people out and about enjoying the evening would smile and say "hi" as they passed.  Often some of the older women in the neighboring buildings would sit outside and chat with me and each other.  These women, who, like the fire escapes and stoops were almost a permanent fixture of their dwellings, would gossip about other neighbors, discuss their latest health issues, or ask about each other's pets.  It felt like my very own small community deep in the heart of this huge City.

My first day on the escape.

Although I have now upgraded to a fancy-pants apartment in a high-rise building, and have the luxury of a fabulous balcony, it is not quite the same as my private fire escape and stoop retreats.  Here are a few journal clips describing these uniquely New York moments...

Sunday, 6/8/2008, 8:30PM: "I'm sitting on the stoop of my new apartment on 81st Street between 1st and 2nd Aves.  It's an interesting feeling being here right now. It's new and I'm mostly comfortable and I feel at home, but there's a little apprehension in me. Like I need to observe and just feel it out. Anyway, I feel much cozier and brighter and more functional in this apartment and hood. So many people walking by. Almost everyone who walks by has a dog. There are lots of young people and people with friends and boyfriends. I can't believe Starbucks is right on my street corner!" Apparently coffee gets me very excited.  As if you didn't know.

Tuesday, 7/29/2008, 10:30PM: "I am sitting on my stoop. It's pretty hot. Tonight I went to Barnes and Nobles and looked at a book called "New York Fashion Look Book" or something like that. It had profiles on "fashionable" New Yorkers including one woman who met her husband in Barneys. Anyway, it made me think that's where I should go to meet someone so I can get invited to a fancy party!"  Two comments: 1) I thoroughly enjoy that I constantly pointed out exactly where I was located while writing.  2) Don't you admire my deep thoughts while uponst my stoop?! Ohhh, how I love my man-finding strategies!

Sunday, 8/10/08, 9:21AM: "Good morning! Today is beautiful. I'm on my fire escape and I love the sounds. It feels like I'm down the shore with the car sounds and kids laughing. It's neat."  There I go again, telling my journal exactly where I am. 

Sunday, 10/12/2008, 11:35AM: "Good morning Upper East Siders! Today is gorgeous fall. I was just sitting on my fire escape and I'm so glad for the 1st time someone saw me up here and smiled and waved.  So fun!"  Don't judge me.  My journal was my friend so I had to talk nicely to it and wish it a good day!

and in the same entry...

"Yesterday I got my haircut at Michael's barber shop next door.  When I got back to the apartment, Alice was outside selling baked goods near the stoop and a few young guys stopped by to chat.  It felt like such a community.  It's very cozy!"

Do you have any special places that, although unglamorous, have an important meaning to you? Do any places remind you of a certain time of life, maybe one of change or independence?  Please share!

Game of Chess in Union Square

As I was scanning through some old photos, I came across these pictures I took of young boys playing chess against an older gentleman in Union Square.  The chess table belonged to the man in the white t-shirt who would play a game with anyone who was willing to pay (I forget how much he was charging - probably a few dollars).  I particularly enjoyed watching these two young boys challenge the man because they were so serious and intent on trying to beat him.  Although I was routing for the kids, the reigning champion won, but he kindly encouraged the boys to go home and practice on the computer, and then come back to have another try.   So, if you're ever in Union Square, take a few moments to watch the chess players (they set up there pretty much daily), peruse the Green Market (chock full of fresh food goods and art booths), or watch the skate-boarders (they can be a little rambunctious, so don't get in their way!).  

That's all for now.  Goodnight, all! xoxo

Creative Inspiration: Collages!

Over the past couple of weeks as I began pouring over wedding magazines for inspiration and visuals, I started thinking I was going a little overboard, spending hours cutting out pictures and making pretty collages.  "No, Jenny! Don't be a crazy bride-lady!" I started to lecture to myself.  But then I remembered that this is nothing new; this is just me being me.  Since I was a youngin' I've been into making collages from magazine cut-outs for fun and inspiration.  

Not only is this activity relaxing (it's super easy and doesn't require much thought), it yields an end product that is a precise reflection of your thoughts, desires, and wishes at one point in time.  It's almost like having a time-capsule to look back on.  Here are a few from my scrap books...

I created the above collage in June of 2007, the summer before moving to New York.  The clip on the bottom right is a woman's description of her daily life in Manhattan. She wrote of how she daily woke up early for a run around the Union Square green market, and had days chock full of energizing meetings, which would then end with peaceful evenings of tea-drinking and book-reading. I remember thinking how delightful that sounded and how I wanted my New York life to be similar. As far as all the farm scenery goes, I'm not really sure what that was all about considering I was about to move to a bustling city.  Perhaps it was me trying to retain a sense of peace and calm in preparation for the craziness of Manhattan which would lay ahead. 

This next image (above) is cheating since it's not a collage but rather a drawing, but it served the same purpose.  As with the first, I sketched this immediately prior to my move to NYC.  I envisioned having a balcony with a view of the Empire State Building (affectionately referred to as "The Emp"), a fireplace, and a kitten.  Although it took a year and a half of living in the City, I did end up in an apartment with a view of the Emp, and we now have a balcony, kitty and fireplace (though faux) in our current place.  The power of visualization, people! Get with it!

This next collage speaks for itself.  Clearly I was wanting a little love in my life... and I got it :)

Fitness-inspired collage pictured above was circa about 2010.  I was feeling the need to re-focus on my health and fitness and kept this board in a spot near my bathroom every day for a few months.  

And lastly, one of my most current workings.  This is just one of many binder pages filled with blissful romantic wedding images.  Apparently I'm all about peonies, lanterns, candles and chandeliers.   We shall see what the actual end-product turns out to be :)

To sum it up, if you're feeling a little bored, or the need to create something without too much effort, I recommend sitting down with a pair of scissors and a few of your favorite magazines.  Creating a visualization or inspiration collage may help you feel re-focused and relaxed. Yes, yes I am aware that fancy internet sites like Pinterest serve the same purpose nowadays.  But there is something to be said for  hunkering down and with some good 'ole arts and crafts.  Enjoy, and let me know how yours turn out if you try it!

PS - What activities do you do to relax or hone in on your desires or feelings for a few moments? Please share!

We Take Pride: Life in the Gayborhood

In honor of NYC Pride Week, I thought it appropriate to elaborate on how New Yorkers take Pride in our gay men and women.  I live in Hells Kitchen, where I assume 80% of all men who cross my path are gay.  They smell good, look hotter than me, walk with a sassy swag and laugh like they live in the OC.  I have learned in my four and a half years in New York that the gay male population definitely makes neighborhoods better.  I would know that because I live in what has been referred to as one of New York's "gayborhoods."  Meaning, it is home to many-a-gay.  Where there are gay men, one finds better shopping, cleaner streets, better-smelling air, and trendier restaurants.  Also, the girls in the neighborhood probably dress better because they are surrounded by their gay friends who give them keenly observant fashion advice daily. This advice is often harsh (I often hear my best guy's voice in my head: "Umm Jenny, that looks ridiculous, take it off," or "Really? The sorority girl hair-puff is a little outdated. Try something else."). However, it is usually accurate. 

As I look back on my time in NYC, I recall that I was not always so appreciative of this group of people. In fact, I was once probably judgey of them simply because of lack of exposure.  New York has given me exposure to get over such judgey-ness, and for that I am thankful.

When I moved to Manhattan I began easing into the fact that there were gay men all around.  Having come from conservative central Florida where I went to college, I had never before been in the presence of multitudes of openly gay men, holding hands and embracing their lifestyle with pride.  So I gradually founds myself becoming accustomed.  However, one day, I was forced into full-blown acceptance mode when one of my long time friends told me he was gay.  I recall the moment vividly. It went a little something like this: I was at home in my Upper East Side apartment on a Friday night, when my friend called me up, clearly a little tipsy from a night on the town.  "Jenny!! I'm coming over! I have to tell you something!"  As I awaited his arrival, I began to have an inkling of what was about to come.    He came to my apartment super excited and chatty, but also seeming a bit nervous.  I was nervous too as I knew he was about to tell me something big, and out of nervous habit, I frantically began scrubbing my kitchen counters intensely, waiting for his announcement.  

He began, "So, you know how I met that guy. Well, he's really nice and I like him, and..... I'm gay."  Me: "Okay."  Him: "Did you have any idea?"  Me: "Not really. Well, kind of. I thought it was just always a part of your life you hadn't thought much about since you never really talked about girls but you didn't talk about guys either."  Him: "Sooo, are you going to be weird with me now?"  Me: "No! Well, as long as you don't start acting super gay I'll be okay. And don't start talking about making out with guys right away."  Both of us: Burst out into laughter :)

My friend then told me that I was one of his last friends to know. Apparently he was extremely nervous to tell me.  That made me a little sad, since obviously my judgey-ness had come through to him, making him hesitant to share with me a big part of his life.  Nonetheless, I was happy he finally let me in on this aspect of his life.  

Since then (and before then, of course), that relationship has brought much value to my life.  Aside from the invaluable fashion advice (mentioned above), he has been a close friend who listens, cares, and puts me in my place when I'm acting extra bratty. He has helped me to become a more loving and open person, and to expand my ability to accept people who are different from me. As for the fun stuff, he keeps me abreast of the latest songs, fragrances, New York hot spots and cultural happenings.   For those reasons and many MANY more, I take great pride in my friend and all that he is.  Happy PRIDE!

NYC Pride Run

The B-List: Walking the Brooklyn Bridge

Up until this past weekend I had completed only 10 of 28 items on my New York Bucket List.  Then on Saturday, fiancé-la-vie-Matt and I were able to cross off one more feat, walking the Brooklyn Bridge, bringing me to a solid 11.  Whooop whoop!  But seriously, though, I've got a ways to go on this B-list, so I best get to crackin'.

Anyway, this was not my first time walking across the Brooklyn Bridge, but it was Matt's so it made it all the more special.  The last time I made my way across this 1.13 mile-long structure stretching across the East River was late August/early September 2010.  Jill and I had been in Brooklyn for the day with friends, and we decided to meander our way back to Manhattan on foot.  I remember savoring the City skyline against a pink sunset, Jill and I having great conversation, singing songs, and walking all the way back up to Hell's Kitchen in Midtown.  It was quite the trek, but it was worth it: we even saw Jay-Z along the way :)

This weekend I created a new memory with Matt. We didn't see any celebs, but it was still divine. 

THE ROUTE

We decided to head to Brooklyn first so that we could walk across the Bridge toward Manhattan to get the best vistas of the New York skyline (Matt's idea... pure genius, love!). To begin, we walked from my apartment down 43rd Street to the Times Square subway station on 42nd and 7th Avenue.  We then hopped on the downtown 2 (red) train which brought us to Clark Street in Brooklyn within about 20 minutes, for a mere $2.25 per person.

Matt had used the Trip Planner tool on the MTA website, so we knew to head toward Cranberry Street once we emerged from the subway.  Immediately we noted how pretty Brooklyn was.  Charming shops, bakeries and restaurants lined the streets, which were much quieter and calmer than the streets of Manhattan from which we came. After a few blocks and following the Trip Planner's guidance we came upon a handy directory which pointed us in the right direction.

At this point we (and by "we" I mean Matt) got a tidbit flustered because the directory seemed to conflict with the Trip Planner's directions.  The sign indicated we should cross a busy road, which seemed to disconcert Matt.  I reassured him that we would surely find our way, so we carried on, crossing the street and making our way through a pretty park.  Matt was getting a little more nervous as he told me that he had heard there wouldn't be many signs indicating how to actually get onto the Bridge's pedestrian walkway.  Therefore, I couldn't help but chuckle when we immediately found sign...

...after sign...

...after sign. :)

Therefore, have no fear have if it is your first time venturing to Brooklyn or to the Bridge itself. There is plenty of signage to go around so you will get there without a doubt, quite painlessly in fact.

THE SCENE

There were A LOT of pedestrians and bikers on Bridge. The walkway is split into 2 lanes most of the way, except at two large platforms which are perfect for stepping aside and taking photos.  Pedestrians are expected to stick to the southern lane (the left lane if you're going from B-lynn to Manhattan), while the bikers take the other.  People selling water, snacks and t-shirts (I wanted one, but I'm saving for a wedding now... whoop!) are scattered throughout the path as well, so if you need some refreshment you should be able to find something.  Unfortunately there was a lot of construction going on while we were there, so some of the views closer to the Manhattan side were a bit obstructed by scaffolding and tarps.  No worries though -- we got our fair share of beautiful shots.

Gorgeous view. Empire towards the left.

Oh look. Another gorgeous view. :)

Yours truly.

On the way home (coming off the Bridge, on the Manhattan side) we saw these guys.  

SWAT team. Not interested in a photo opp.

And this super cool building that looked like its sides were sliding off.

NEXT UP

Apparently (I'm just learning about this now) the Brooklyn Bridge Park, which we were near but did not venture into, is another attraction in and of itself.  It contains marshes, gardens, a WINE BAR (hallelujah!) and a hot dog joint.  So since the Park and Grimaldi's Pizza are next on my Brooklyn list, it looks like we'll be making our way across this Bridge again soon.  

To wrap it all up in a nice tidy package, have fun and enjoy should you decide to venture across the Bridge.  Whether you are visiting NYC for the first time, or you have lived here for years, walking the B-Bridge is definitely a worthy New York activity. 

Xoxo!

THE LAST WORD (or picture)

Taking it all in.

Hugging at work: do or don't?

Side-hugging one of my favorite friends (who also happens to be a coworker :).

This week amidst all the engagement congratulations from my colleagues, I discovered an uncertainty in the world of work-force etiquette: should one hug coworkers? I have never floundered on this topic before. There always seemed to be a natural divide between who I should or should not hug.  Coworkers have typically fallen into one of two categories when it comes to this issue:  1) The Work-Friends: those peers who are typically at my level with whom I am very comfortable and share personal life happenings.  This category of coworkers is not  in question: of course I hug them. 2) The Higher-Ups: These are the Partners or Executive Directors with whom I usually have a strictly professional relationship which does not involve the discussion of too many personal details. Naturally, we don't hug. 

Despite my neatly bucketed groupings, this week I discovered that there is another class, the In-Betweeners.  It is this category of colleagues that has left me confused about my position on hugging in the workplace. I had this revelation last week when one particularly sweet female Senior Manager heard that I had gotten engaged, and approached me to congratulate.  As she leaned in toward me, I thought she was coming in for a side-hug.  I returned the gesture and leaned in as well.  It turned out, however, that she was not going for a hug, but rather a mere patting of my arm. I mistook her arm-pat for a hug-to-be, and my natural reaction was to retract my hug which was hanging mid-air, and act like I was just going in for a mutual arm-patting.  This resulted in even more awkwardness. Picture two professional accountant-types standing side by side, each patting the other's arm simultaneously. Point made.

All of this happened in just a few seconds, so I'm sure the In-Betweener Senior Manager didn't notice. I noticed, though. And it has remained in my mind since. It left me in an abyss of confusion, questioning my stance on these ever-important questions: Am I not supposed to hug coworkers? Should I only hug certain levels of people? How can I gauge whether I am really going to receive a hug or if the person is leaning in for some other less-affectionate gesture?  As a result, for the rest of that day last week when any colleague approached me in congratulations, I did not go in for the big one unless I was ABSOLUTELY certain they too were looking to hug.  

What do you all think? Is it appropriate to hug coworkers with whom you are not close friends? Is there a way to unmuddle these murky worky waters? Have you ever had a similar experience? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

P.S. - A few pieces I found across the web on the topic...

Art of hugging coworkers

Yahoo Finance

MSN careers

happy worker