Hugging at work: do or don't?

Side-hugging one of my favorite friends (who also happens to be a coworker :).

This week amidst all the engagement congratulations from my colleagues, I discovered an uncertainty in the world of work-force etiquette: should one hug coworkers? I have never floundered on this topic before. There always seemed to be a natural divide between who I should or should not hug.  Coworkers have typically fallen into one of two categories when it comes to this issue:  1) The Work-Friends: those peers who are typically at my level with whom I am very comfortable and share personal life happenings.  This category of coworkers is not  in question: of course I hug them. 2) The Higher-Ups: These are the Partners or Executive Directors with whom I usually have a strictly professional relationship which does not involve the discussion of too many personal details. Naturally, we don't hug. 

Despite my neatly bucketed groupings, this week I discovered that there is another class, the In-Betweeners.  It is this category of colleagues that has left me confused about my position on hugging in the workplace. I had this revelation last week when one particularly sweet female Senior Manager heard that I had gotten engaged, and approached me to congratulate.  As she leaned in toward me, I thought she was coming in for a side-hug.  I returned the gesture and leaned in as well.  It turned out, however, that she was not going for a hug, but rather a mere patting of my arm. I mistook her arm-pat for a hug-to-be, and my natural reaction was to retract my hug which was hanging mid-air, and act like I was just going in for a mutual arm-patting.  This resulted in even more awkwardness. Picture two professional accountant-types standing side by side, each patting the other's arm simultaneously. Point made.

All of this happened in just a few seconds, so I'm sure the In-Betweener Senior Manager didn't notice. I noticed, though. And it has remained in my mind since. It left me in an abyss of confusion, questioning my stance on these ever-important questions: Am I not supposed to hug coworkers? Should I only hug certain levels of people? How can I gauge whether I am really going to receive a hug or if the person is leaning in for some other less-affectionate gesture?  As a result, for the rest of that day last week when any colleague approached me in congratulations, I did not go in for the big one unless I was ABSOLUTELY certain they too were looking to hug.  

What do you all think? Is it appropriate to hug coworkers with whom you are not close friends? Is there a way to unmuddle these murky worky waters? Have you ever had a similar experience? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

P.S. - A few pieces I found across the web on the topic...

Art of hugging coworkers

Yahoo Finance

MSN careers

happy worker