Hugging at work: do or don't?

Side-hugging one of my favorite friends (who also happens to be a coworker :).

This week amidst all the engagement congratulations from my colleagues, I discovered an uncertainty in the world of work-force etiquette: should one hug coworkers? I have never floundered on this topic before. There always seemed to be a natural divide between who I should or should not hug.  Coworkers have typically fallen into one of two categories when it comes to this issue:  1) The Work-Friends: those peers who are typically at my level with whom I am very comfortable and share personal life happenings.  This category of coworkers is not  in question: of course I hug them. 2) The Higher-Ups: These are the Partners or Executive Directors with whom I usually have a strictly professional relationship which does not involve the discussion of too many personal details. Naturally, we don't hug. 

Despite my neatly bucketed groupings, this week I discovered that there is another class, the In-Betweeners.  It is this category of colleagues that has left me confused about my position on hugging in the workplace. I had this revelation last week when one particularly sweet female Senior Manager heard that I had gotten engaged, and approached me to congratulate.  As she leaned in toward me, I thought she was coming in for a side-hug.  I returned the gesture and leaned in as well.  It turned out, however, that she was not going for a hug, but rather a mere patting of my arm. I mistook her arm-pat for a hug-to-be, and my natural reaction was to retract my hug which was hanging mid-air, and act like I was just going in for a mutual arm-patting.  This resulted in even more awkwardness. Picture two professional accountant-types standing side by side, each patting the other's arm simultaneously. Point made.

All of this happened in just a few seconds, so I'm sure the In-Betweener Senior Manager didn't notice. I noticed, though. And it has remained in my mind since. It left me in an abyss of confusion, questioning my stance on these ever-important questions: Am I not supposed to hug coworkers? Should I only hug certain levels of people? How can I gauge whether I am really going to receive a hug or if the person is leaning in for some other less-affectionate gesture?  As a result, for the rest of that day last week when any colleague approached me in congratulations, I did not go in for the big one unless I was ABSOLUTELY certain they too were looking to hug.  

What do you all think? Is it appropriate to hug coworkers with whom you are not close friends? Is there a way to unmuddle these murky worky waters? Have you ever had a similar experience? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

P.S. - A few pieces I found across the web on the topic...

Art of hugging coworkers

Yahoo Finance

MSN careers

happy worker

That awkward bus ride

Cool metro-card covered bicycle wheel (has nothing to do with post - do not be fooled).

The shuttle to work yesterday morn (yes, my friends, though I live just a few blocks from work, I usually take the complimentary shuttle offered by my apartment complex  - supes laze, I know) was particularly crowded, most likely due to the narsty weather, which by the way, had me feeling seasonally depressed for about a minute.  I for one had a seat in the front row, next to the aisle (wooop for waking up early, birtches!). As more and more people crowded into the shuttle, seats ran out, and we had some standers (we're talking "can't sit heeeyah" Forest Gump-degree lack of seat availability).  I observed carefully the reactions as each passenger stepped up into the shuttle bus and realized how crowded it was.  It reminded me of when your'e at the airport and the security lines are particularly long but fresh line-waiters don't realize it until they are just up to the line and they all have the same amazed reaction.  "The line starts back there?" Yes, peeps, it does.  Anyway, without fail, each passenger mumbled something under their breath (i.e., "gahh this is ridiculous" or "man, people need to make room") when they saw that there was plenty of standing space toward the back of the bus.  Needless to say none of them actually asked anyone to make room, they just passive aggressively mumbled to themselves which I happened to have the good fortune of hearing in my front row seat.

Anywho, the last unfortunate, yet very dapper-looking gent to enter the bus was particularly unnerved by the scenario.  He too mumbled, though a bit louder, and kept shimmying in closer as if to silently bully people into stepping further back in the aisle. He kept bobbing his head around to see exactly how much space people were wasting.  Then he tried making eye contact with me as if to look for moral support.  Don't look at me, fella! I got my booty down to that shuttle on time!  To top it off and make matters more awkward, he held his iPhone up, which at first just looked like he was texting, then FLASH! The camera flash went off. The Buster was taking a picture! Don't get me wrong, I have definitely tried to sneak photos of odd situations in public with the very fear that my flash would go off.  However, I take the necessary precautions to ensure nobody knows I am actually sneaking photos.  This poor fella was not only squished in the front of the shuttle bus, but now he was also caught taking odd pictures of his bus-mates.  He quickly put his phone to his side and tried to cover it up.  May it be a lesson to us all: if you're going to take pictures of people in public while trying to cover it by looking like you're texting, turn off the flash people!

Have you had any awkward public transportation moments? Have you gotten caught taking pics of people/situations in public and tried to cover it up? I'd love to hear your stories :)

PS - Soon to come, the do's and don'ts of awkward elevator rides!